May is over, and I’ve been 30 years old for almost a month! I wanted to share more about myself and 30 lessons I’ve learned in the past 30 years.
One of the purposes of my website is learning to be okay with sharing things publicly, even when they are personal. Some of these lessons came from experience, values I live by, books I’ve read, and mistakes I’ve made. Also, I am an introvert, so being introspective is just part of my nature.
Hopefully you’ll learn something from reading this, and if you don’t, that is okay too. I still appreciate you being here and reading this.
1. Practice Gratitude
Sometimes life gets crazy, and things do not go as planned. Practicing gratitude keeps me grounded and reminds me to appreciate the small things we often look past.
For example, being grateful for my health, getting to and from work safely, having a roof over my head, having a partner who supports me, and so much more. It makes whatever went wrong feel a little less heavy.
2. Be Kind
Growing up, this was the one value that shaped who I am today. No matter what, the one thing I can control is being kind to others.
I faced a lot of challenges growing up, and I often hid it well. When someone would simply smile at me, it reminded me to smile too, and it made me feel a little better. That person would never know what kind of day I had or that they made my day better.
So I live by spreading kindness because, at the end of the day, one small act of kindness can genuinely make someone’s day better. It is also a reminder that you never really know what someone else is going through.
3. Stay Curious
I’ve always been a naturally curious person. Growing up in Oakland definitely had an impact on that curiosity.
Oakland does not always have the most positive reputation, and instead of making assumptions, I asked questions. That led me to understand more about systemic injustice and the lack of ethnic studies and resources available to support the city.
That also drove me to pursue public health in college because I wanted to use what I learned to help communities have better access to resources and knowledge so they could make better choices for themselves.
Curiosity has pushed me to learn about the things around me, connect ideas, and find creative solutions to bridge gaps.
4. Every Choice Is a Decision
Decision-making is hard, so any chance I can minimize decision fatigue, I will.
For example, setting up routines helps me know what I am going to do every day, which makes it easier for me to focus on my priorities. Decisions are not always meant to be easy, and that is why life is hard. Choosing to sleep in is easier than choosing to get up at 6 a.m.
I do my best to make choices that will make future me 1% better. I also try to remember that not making a choice is still a decision. It is a decision to not do anything.
5. Progress > Perfect
This took me a long time to grasp.
For example, publishing this personal site even when it was not exactly how I wanted it to be was something I struggled with. Perfectionism is just another form of procrastination, and sometimes it becomes an excuse that prevents me from moving forward.
I am retroactively adding projects to this site, which gives me an opportunity to not only reflect but also celebrate how far I’ve progressed. It is also a reminder that I am usually my biggest critic, and not everyone has the same expectations that I do.
6. Mistakes Are Okay
Growing up, I was taught that making mistakes was bad and something I should avoid at all costs.
That is where a lot of my perfectionism came from: being afraid of making the wrong choices or doing the wrong thing because I thought it would lead to consequences.
But that is far from the truth. Mistakes are what make us human, and what we do after making mistakes is the real gift.
I’m not saying to make mistakes all the time. It is more about being intentional with the choices you make and being okay with learning from them. Mistakes taught me what not to do and why, but they also showed me the gaps in my understanding.
7. Learning Is a Privilege
“Every day is an opportunity to learn something new,” and it truly is, especially with the rise of technology and unlimited access to knowledge.
Learning does not have to be something studious. It can come from experiences, perspectives, conversations, or literally anything. It is a privilege because it is your choice to take something from any situation and make the most of it.
I’ve always tried to stay open because it helps me stay curious about things I have never experienced before.
8. Create Systems, Not Just Goals
SMART goals are helpful because they give you a clear outcome to work toward, but I’ve learned that goals alone are not enough. I tend to fall off track when I focus too much on the outcome and not enough on the daily habits that support it.
What helps me most is creating systems and routines. I ask myself: what are the small things I can do every day to set myself up for success?
For me, that means understanding my challenges, strengths, and energy levels. I know I focus best in the morning, especially around 4–5 a.m., so I use that time for anything that requires deep focus or learning. Before I start, I write down the specific task I want to complete and meditate for a few minutes to help myself get into focus mode.
Adding these small routines builds over time, and eventually they become the system that helps me stay consistent.
9. It’s Okay to Set Boundaries
This is something I learned more recently in my late twenties.
I had a hard time putting myself first because I was too focused on how other people would feel. Having empathy is a huge strength, but it can also become a weakness when you constantly put other people’s feelings before your own.
Over time, that led me to feel burnt out socially, mentally, and physically. I also had a hard time understanding what I actually wanted because I was always going with the flow or doing something because everyone else was doing it.
Setting boundaries meant communicating my intentions and values more clearly. It also meant learning that when I honor my own needs and protect my energy, I am able to show up better for the people around me.
10. You Are Not Special
What I mean by this is: the world does not revolve around you.
Life around you will continue to move forward no matter what. For example, I have always been a high-performing employee at the companies I’ve worked at, but that did not always matter.
When COVID happened, my job hours were reduced to four hours a week, even though my team had the highest amount of Advanced Healthcare Directive submissions out of all the Santa Clara offices.
At another job, I helped execute one of the company’s top three revenue-driving projects, and I still got laid off.
Understanding that “I am not special” does not mean I do not have value. It means I try not to take everything too personally, especially when it comes to external factors I cannot control.
11. There Is No Such Thing as a Dumb Question
When I am curious about something or learning something new, I ask a lot of questions. I also encourage others to do the same.
Something that is obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else. Asking questions helps bridge gaps and prevents assumptions. It can also spark new ideas or perspectives.
You just never know unless you ask! 😊
12. Why Not?
It is always “why?” but why not “why not?”
Sometimes asking “why not?” opens up possibilities instead of immediately shutting them down.
13. Everyone Is Still Figuring It Out
As the ultimate Type A planner, I used to think I needed to have everything figured out, especially my career path.
But life throws curveballs, and we are all just learning as we go through it. We are all on different journeys and in different phases of our lives.
No one really knows exactly what they are doing. We are all just doing the best we can with what we are given.
14. Believe in Yourself
The biggest op was myself…
Everyone else can believe in you, but that does not matter much if you do not believe in yourself.
People around me encouraged me to sell my art, sell my baked goods, or pursue projects that felt outside of my scope. I did not think any of my work was good enough because I never had the proper training or education for it, or because I had not done it in a long time.
But what I did know was that even if I did not have the experience, I knew I would figure it out and get it done.
Even if the outcome is not perfect, I can say I did my best and will continue to get better. Believing in myself means acknowledging my grit and the fact that I do not give up.
15. Unlearning Old Habits Is Hard
This is all about giving yourself grace and being kind to yourself.
We cannot be perfect all the time. There are going to be days when you just do not feel like doing what you need to do.
Consistency is hard, and acknowledging that is important. Remembering all the progress you have made toward becoming better is something you should be proud of.
Unlearning something you have been doing for a long time takes effort and resistance, and that is part of how you grow.
16. Take Care of Your Body
One thing you have control over is the choices you make when it comes to taking care of your health. It is a reflection of how you view yourself.
This is a lesson I have to keep reminding myself.
About two years ago, I went on a walking frenzy where I walked 20k steps every single day in all types of shoes. I had foot pain for almost a year, and I just kept walking it off and going about my day without getting checked out.
Eventually, my friend told me to go see a podiatrist. She referred me to hers, and to be honest, I was not going to go. But the podiatrist was literally across from work, so I had no excuse.
I am grateful that I went because I had a stress fracture and an inflamed nerve, and it probably would have gotten worse if I had continued ignoring it. I had no one else to blame but myself because I did not care enough to treat my body with love and care. I was treating it like a vessel to get things done.
Listen to your body, be proactive about your health, and your future self will thank you.
17. Relaxing Is Productive
Ahhh… something about me is that I love to be productive all the time.
I used to think, “Time is precious, so let me make the most of it.” Getting things done makes me happy, so the idea of relaxing was not something I was used to. But it was something I needed to learn.
Although being productive makes me happy, if I want to continue being productive, relaxing is something I need to make space for.
Relaxing is productive because it gives you time to recharge.
18. The 80/20 Principle
The 80/20 principle, also known as the Pareto Principle, is about asking: what is the 20% of work that will contribute to 80% of the outcome?
When I am learning something new, I always make sure I understand the foundation. The foundation is usually enough for you to figure out the rest later on.
What instantly comes to mind is when I was learning data structures and algorithms and doing LeetCode problems.
When I approached a problem I did not know, I broke it down and used what I already knew. From there, I was able to identify familiar patterns. Then you start to realize that certain problems follow specific patterns.
By understanding the foundation, you can use process of elimination and identify the gaps you need to learn more about in order to solve the problem.
19. Ask for Help
I used to be afraid to ask for help because I did not want to feel like a bother.
Which is a bit hypocritical of me because I am someone who loves offering help.
Asking for help is acknowledging your weakness and finding someone who can help you grow in that specific area or give you the resources you need to succeed.
People love to help, and they are usually more than willing to. You just have to ask. No one will know that you need help if you do not say anything.
20. Meditate
Meditation is something I try to make time for every day, even if it is only for two minutes.
It is two minutes of mindfulness.
I started practicing meditation a little over a year ago, and it has taught me to be present, acknowledge that thoughts are just thoughts, and show up for myself.
21. Journaling Helps
I used to be afraid of journaling because I thought my thoughts were dumb or my writing was bad.
Then I realized no one was going to read it, so who cares what I write about?
Now that I have picked up the habit of journaling, it has honestly made me a better person. There is something about reading what I wrote a year ago, or reading about something that upset me in the moment, that gives me perspective.
It helps me process, reflect, and understand myself better.
22. Say Hello
You never know who you might meet.
I said “hello” to the two people I kept seeing in my Pilates class, and now they are two of my close friends.
Sometimes meeting new friends starts with something as simple as saying hello.
23. Communication Is Key
Miscommunication is usually the culprit of disagreements, and I find that clear communication helps resolve a lot of problems.
This means being adaptable and understanding who you are communicating with. It also means understanding that not everyone has the same communication style.
24. Control What You Can Control
Some things are out of your control.
The one thing you can control is how you feel and how you react.
Acknowledging that is a reminder that I decide what I make of a situation.
25. Rejection Is Redirection
Rejection, to me, just means it is not for me, and that is okay.
Comparison Is the Thief of Joy
One of the best things I did for myself was deleting my social media accounts a few years ago. Subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, I was constantly comparing my life to others, even though I knew I was only seeing a small snippet of their lives.
Deleting social media helped me focus on what was actually important to me without the constant pressure to measure my life against someone else’s.
27. Sleep on It
People say you should not go to sleep upset, but honestly, sometimes you should.
You do not want to make an impulsive decision in the heat of the moment. Just like you should not make any important decision without thinking about it first.
That is why people say “sleep on it.” It gives you time to process, reflect, and be sure about what you are going to say or do next.
28. Speak Up
Being quiet all the time did not get me anywhere, but choosing when to speak up did.
Speaking up means believing in myself, and sometimes it means speaking up for others who are not able to.
29. Do It for Yourself
“Be the change you want to see.” — Gandhi
This is a quote I have lived by because if I want to see change in my life, or any kind of change at all, it starts with me.
30. There Are So Many Lessons to Learn
The older I get, the more I realize that there is so much more to learn — not just about myself, but about life.
And honestly, that is kind of the point.